...The Edge of Confusion

I’ve been cleaning up my office over the last week or so- I had some energy suck spots leftover from when we moved and when my office was displaced from the water damage. As I was cleaning out a cabinet to make room for office supplies, I came across my notebook from my Esoteric Healing classes. Honestly, I had so many notes on the handouts from class, I forgot the notebook existed. Thankfully, earlier me kept all the levels of class notes in the same notebook. 

When it’s something I WANT to learn, I love reviewing old class notes. I always rediscover something I’d forgotten, or gain an expanded understanding. From my Level 2 class, I came across a line that caught my attention. Nestled between notes about soul forces and focusing from the ajna, the line says: “Do your best work on the edge of confusion” and I couldn’t help but giggle. 

The version of me who took the notes (who VERY much disliked confusion) had no idea I’d turn into this person now (who loves it). I remember at the time how controlled I tried to be. How afraid I was of not knowing or understanding things. By that point, I’d built most of my identity on being intelligent. As a kid, it was always the trait that was highlighted, encouraged, and that got anyone to pay attention to me. And even when I was taking these classes, it was something I clung to. I needed to be intelligent to feel valuable or worthy. Of course, now, I recognize the distortion in that. I know now that we don’t actually have to DO or BE anything to claim the Truth that we are Divinity in Form. 

But I remember taking the classes and being so hesitant to practice on anyone or offer energy work in any form because I was worried I would get it wrong. I was worried I wasn’t smart enough (intuitive enough) to be able to “understand” the energy I was feeling and I didn’t yet trust my claircognizance. Between my insecurities and the fact that Esoteric Healing is incredibly complex, I was in a constant state of confusion about how it worked, what we were doing, etc. 

It has actually taken me several years to relax this, and really the majority of that has come over the last 2-3 years. It’s probably been about 13 years since I jotted that note. Now, I can actually appreciate the truth of that statement. These days, some of the best sessions we have are the ones where neither of us actually knows what happened or how it came about. 

What this note is actually about is allowing the work to come in Truth - to relax the mental/thinking body’s requirements to understand, and allow Spirit to take the lead. What I find these days is that when Spirit is taking the lead, during the process, it doesn’t always make sense to the little mind, and that’s ok. 

When I think about Spirit taking the lead and doing the work, I get an image that flashes of an eagle flying way high in the sky. From that perspective- it’s easier to see the whole picture- to see what truly needs to be done to bring greater balance from the causal level (the space where things need to come into balance to be “permanently healed”). I can’t always see the web of energy from where I sit but when I can relax and allow myself to be confused, I am usually delightfully surprised by the end to see how masterfully everything comes together. My guides have called it working “Beyond the brain” for the last couple of years, which has been helpful.  

What I’ve come to appreciate over the years is that giving the personality body permission to be confused allows space to relax the idea of control, and lifts the desires of the personality to be in greater alignment with the requirements of the Soul.

And outside of energy work, I love the larger opportunity for this idea to “do your best work on the edge of confusion”. It feels timely for where we are collectively in the world. Energetically, we’re heading into uncharted territory. High frequencies that have not been accessible to us in the past are becoming accessible- we’re turning on and tapping into them, and it’s causing a lot of what we’ve known to shift or fall away. This can be wildly uncomfortable and confusing for the personality body. But to that, I say “GOOD!” - an opportunity to come into the fullness of who and what we are. There will be confusion along the way. The lower mind is being asked to make way for the higher mind. The personality is being asked to make way for the Soul. And when we can notice the confusion or discomfort, and allow that space and permission to be ok, we tend to find that things work out better than we ever could have imagined them to be. Even when the process is messy and uncertain, we can come into a greater space of trust in the Truth- that All is Well and All is in Divine Time.  

So my invitation to you is to allow yourself to “do your best work on the edge of confusion”. If you’re still holding any ideas that you have to have things all figured out before you begin, or that you’re not safe unless you can see the end of the route, I invite you to feel into the potential of the comfort of discomfort, to challenge your beliefs and ideas of what things mean or what they “should” look like and instead, let yourself be confused and let the magic happen.

Much love to you,

Carly